Because there is always room for improvement Part III

Chapter 2: The G Word

This chapter of Sincero’s book was focused upon channeling your Source Energy, or what I believe to mean a higher power. It could be God, the universe, your gut, intuition, etc. It is not limited to anyone or anything. It is whatever you deem your higher power or Source Energy to be.

Sincero explains how when she is connected to her Source Energy, she is more powerful, and she is more in tune with the physical world and beyond. She also explains that the more attention she gives this Source Energy, the more quickly she can manifest the things she wants in her life.

Sincero lays the foundation for all of the work:

Essentially, the foundation Sincero discusses is what is known as the law of attraction; what you focus upon, is what you get. Focus on positive thoughts and surround yourself with positive people, and you will get more of that in your life. Sincero says, we are all basically attracting energy all the time, therefore it is important to raise the frequency of the vibrations we are sending out so we can manifest what we want in our lives.

Here is where I am at on the whole higher power, law of attraction, higher vibrations arena. I do believe in a higher power, but I am probably like many people, I do not focus a lot of energy on my higher power. I go to church on Sundays, but I feel like I go mainly for the purpose of getting a good sermon or for inspiration, not necessarily for praising God. I hate to admit that. I need to do better.

In terms of raising my vibration, I think it would be helpful if I meditated more and made it a point to focus on gratefulness. I have a lot to be grateful for, and I need to make it a point to count my blessings on a daily basis. There is so much I take for granted, and it is not intentional. It is just so easy to get wrapped up in the day to day that I lose sight of my blessings. I won’t let that happen anymore!

My plan:

1. Meditate before bed every night. Set an alarm for my mediation, so I don’t forget to do it.
2. Make a list of things I am grateful for, and I need to hang it somewhere in my bedroom and look at it every morning and every night.
3. Make it a point to be around positive people, people vibrating at a high frequency. Do this at least twice a week.

 

Back to Being a Bada$$

The Big Snooze

 

Chapter 4 of Sincero’s book, You are a Badass is called The Big Snooze. I am sure you are wondering what the heck the big snooze is. The big snooze is pretty simple. Sincero refers to the big snooze as the ego, and Sincero describes the ego as “the part of us that’s driving the bus when we do things to sabotage our happiness”. She goes on to say the big snooze/ego operates on the limiting false beliefs we have about ourselves that have been put into our subconscious since we were children. I am sure I have several limiting false beliefs that have been in my subconscious and have held me back in some areas of my life.

So where do I begin? If I am going to be completely honest with myself, I have been dealing with the big snooze for most of my adult life. I have limited myself in so many areas due to the toxic beliefs I have stored away in my subconscious, and it is kind of scary bringing all of it to my awareness because I realize how much I have limited myself due to some of the toxic thought patterns and beliefs I have developed about myself over the years.

As far as this chapter of Sincero’s book is concerned, I feel it was kind of a repeat of chapter 1 where she discusses how we have been trapped in a number of areas within our lives due to our subconscious. I cannot really go into too much more detail on this post because I have already discussed the crappier areas of my life due to the false beliefs I have about myself in a previous blog post. I will hopefully get into more depth about my life and the reading I have done on my next post as I read the next chapter.

Thanks for reading!

It has been a while…

This image sums up the last 8 months or more of my life.

I apologize that I have been MIA. I have not been feeling the greatest. I have been extremely fatigued, a fatigue that felt like the life was literally being drained from my body. I am still not 100%, but I am getting there. I had an appointment with an endocrinologist. Apparently I have a mild case of hyperthyroidism, and my blood work revealed I am on the verge of anemia. I felt like I was on the verge of death. I started taking an over the counter iron supplement, and I slowly feel I am getting better. My color looks better, and I do not feel as tired as I have been felling over the last eight months or longer.

I can say I will not take my health for granted ever again. It was a slow decline, but when my fatigue got really bad, I felt that I had been hit by a bus. It was unexplainable just how fatigued I was. I could barely do things that I wanted to do, let alone things I needed to do. One thing I have learned from this experience is not to neglect the signs or symptoms you are having. Get to a doctor!

I was in school, completing an internship, and working a full-time job. I neglected myself terribly, and I am paying for it now. Lesson learned. Don’t be like Julia!

Because there is always room for improvement, Part II

Last week I discussed the book by Jen Sincero, You are a Badass. I discussed chapter 1 briefly and its focus upon becoming aware of one’s subconscious beliefs, and in doing so, I focused upon the shittier areas of my life and any of my subconscious beliefs that may have contributed to the shit.

One shitty area of my life is my relationship or relationship that I had with the father of my two children. I held on too long to the relationship, even though it was completely toxic, draining, and no good for me. To make it worse, I was able to build new and healthy relationships with others, but I would eventually go back to my shitty one with my children’s father. Why? Because I was brought up in a Catholic household, and I believed that it was important to make the relationship between the father of my children and I last forever. In my mind, that was how it was supposed to be.

Another shitty area of my life is my health and fitness. I do not have bad health, but over the last five years or so, I have put on weight and have been sedentary due to working sedentary jobs and not having enough time to workout. I was even working two jobs at one point, so I am not too hard on myself about not having had the time to work on my health and fitness, but now I do, and I still feel like I stand in my own way when it comes to achieving my health and fitness goals.

I think it comes down to me feeling I do not deserve to have it. I believe the traumas I have experienced in my life keep me from working towards my goal of getting into the best shape of my life. I have the desire to do it. In fact, I love working out. It has always been a passion of mine, yet I stay stuck to certain patterns, and I have stayed in my comfort zone.

Interestingly, I go to the gym pretty frequently, but even then my limiting beliefs about my capabilities stand in my way. For example, I will run on the treadmill, but I will only do it for 20 minutes at most, and it isn’t continuous running. I run for 2 minutes, walk for two minutes, and I do that cycle for 20 minutes. I been doing this for years. Why have I not stepped it up? I believe I intentionally prevent myself from doing more or getting better at my running because I don’t believe I deserve it, so I sabotage my efforts with limiting beliefs about my capabilities, or I go home and eat like complete crap. I hate that about myself. It is a continuous cycle of self-sabotage, and I just want to break free from these chains.

I have to admit I was unaware of these toxic beliefs until I read Sincero’s book and examined these areas of my life. I am hoping this reading and these blog posts are not in vain as I really truly want to make changes to these aspects of my life and these subconscious beliefs, so if there are any readers out there who can relate to me in terms of wanting to make changes and struggling to make changes in their lives, please feel free to comment and share the areas you are struggling with in your life. If you made changes or overcame obstacles, how did you do it? We can do this thing together. Accountability, right?!?

Thank you for stopping by and reading.

 

Because there is always room for improvement

One of my friends sent me this amazing book, You are a Badass by Jen Sincero. It is a New York Times bestseller, but I had not had the time to really dive deep into my reading of this book because of the hectic pace of my life. For the record, I started this book almost a year ago but got sidetracked and did not get back to it. I was doing the whole mommy, working, school, and internship thing, and that took up a lot of my time.

Fast forward to today, and here I am. I want to dig really deep into this book because I really want to improve upon myself in so many ways, and when I had initially started the book, I was super impressed and motivated because the book is super awesome and makes complete sense.

I want to discuss each chapter in terms of what the chapter is about and how it relates to my life. I will start with chapter 1, “My Subconscious Made Me Do It”. Here goes nothing!

Chapter 1: My Subconscious Made Me Do It

This chapter focused on both the conscious and subconscious mind and how the subconscious mind plays a major role in our lives in terms of relationships, money, career, etc.

Sincero describes the conscious mind as a relentless overachiever, “incessantly spinning around from thought to thought, stopping only when we sleep”. She then explains the subconscious mind believes everything because it has no filter, and it cannot tell the difference between what is true and what is not true.

Sincero basically explains our subconscious mind receives most of its information from when we were little kids, when the conscious part of our brains are not fully formed. Therefore, we store this information as the truth, and this is wherein the subconscious mind may become problematic in our lives as adults.

What do we do about this?

Sincero suggests the key to addressing the issues in our subconscious mind is to become aware of our subconscious beliefs and by doing so, we are strengthening our awareness muscles.

My Subconscious Beliefs

“Take a minute to look at some of the less-than-impressive areas of your life and think about the underlying beliefs that could have created them.” – Jen Sincero

If I am going to be completely honest with myself, I would say the least impressive area of my life would be my relationships with men. I can openly admit I have sabotaged many relationships to go right back to a shitty relationship with the father of my daughters. Why? Why? Why?

I have asked myself that question so many times. I am not really sure why. I was raised by my grandparents, and they are still alive and married. Actually, that is probably why. I think I was raised to stick it out and make it work. I also went to Catholic school, and I was taught to get married and make it work at all costs.

I did just that. I worked at the relationship with the father of my children more than anyone in their right mind ever should work at a relationship. It cost me so much of my peace and sanity that I am still trying to recover from the trauma. I almost feel I have been cursed in the sense of how devoted to him I have been throughout the course of our relationship and how I was only good enough for him when it served to benefit him.

This is just one area of my subconscious I chose to examine. I will examine other areas of my life as well, and hopefully I will get my awareness muscles in tip top shape.

Have any of you read this book?

What are areas in your life you need to examine relative to your subconscious?

Thank you for reading!!

My tired is tired

I am at a point in my life where my tired is tired. Sheesh, I even wake up tired. I need blood work done, and I just recently lost my insurance due to taking on a new position at a new place of employment. It really sucks because I had blood work ordered for me while I actually had health insurance, but of course I was working full-time and completing an internship, and I just never made the time to go. Now my exhaustion is even worse. Murphy’s Law, right?!?

I am just dying to know what is the cause of this exhaustion. Initially I thought I was iron deficient, but I started taking iron supplements and eating iron-rich foods, but the results were short lived. My exhaustion came back full-force, and quite honestly, maybe it was never gone. Maybe I mentally thought it was improving because I was eating better and taking supplements. All I know is I want answers, and I want to start feeling better because I have never been as exhausted as I am right now. I am just waiting for my insurance to kick in because COBRA is hella expensive, and as a single parent I could not afford it when I left my previous place of employment.

I am actually starting to think it is may be my thyroid. I have been utilizing doctor Google, and I totally know I should not be doing that, but I am desperate to find some answers about my exhaustion. I did read it could be related to my Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), but I was diagnosed over four years ago, and it was only last year that the exhaustion and fatigue began. Aside from the IBS, I have so many of the symptoms of hypothyroidism, but I just need confirmation of it.

Oh, and hear this, not even energy drinks or coffee offer much in the way of help. I still feel tired, just slightly less tired from the caffeine. I can legitimately drink a coffee right before bed and still fall soundly asleep. It is really pathetic, and in addition to my fatigue, my brain is foggy. I find it hard to think and process different tasks, and it just all around really sucks. I’m completely drained! Even as I am sitting here typing this post, I am ready to lay it down for the night.

Has anyone else experienced extreme fatigue and exhaustion?

What helped you to combat it and cope with it?

Thank you for stopping by and reading!

 

Goal Crushing all of 2020!

I cannot believe it is 2020. Holy sh*t! I am almost 40 years old, and I have a 15 and 10 year old. I find myself in a state of disbelief that I have lived for almost 40 years, and I feel like my life has pretty much flashed by. I feel like I really need to savor the journey because I have not been doing that for the last 39 years of my life. The time only seems to go by faster the older I get. It is definitely time to start crossing things off of my bucket list, and I feel like it is a now or never type of thing because we are all living on borrowed time, and we are never promised tomorrow. I am stepping it up in what I believe to be the most important aspects of my life, and I am starting right now by working on four different things: lifelong learning, health, financial fitness, and my family.

In 2019, I graduated with my Bachelor’s Degree, and while I would love to pursue a Master’s Degree, I want to enjoy some of the freedoms I lost while being committed to school. I would like to enjoy more time with my children. Also, I am not so convinced a Master’s Degree is good return on the investment. I figured I will work on a few other things I am passionate about and go from there. I have a passion for fitness, yoga, and all things physical activity. I am going to get certified to teach Pound. Why Pound? It just looks like fun. Honestly, I never even took a Pound class, but I am all about spontaneity and just going for it, so I am.  That will start in February, and then I will look further into yoga certification process as I know that is more lengthy and costly.

In terms of my health, I am committing to at the very least 4 days a week of physical activity. It will be at the gym, trail, or my house, but I have already started on this goal. I have slacked on my physical fitness in 2019 due to a lack of time. I was in school, working full-time, and completing an internship. I don’t even know how I made it if I am going to be completely honest. I barely had time for myself at all, but going forward, I am working on getting into the best shape of my life. Being that I am almost 40, it is a now or never thing, and I “Never say never”. I am so excited to be working on my fitness goals as it is my greatest passion and pretty much an obsession for me, but at least it is a healthy one.

Finances. This is hard for me to discuss because I am not in the best financial situation at the moment. I have student debt, and I have been racking up credit card debt due to single parenthood and the struggles of being a non-traditional student. In 2020, my goal is to pay off any/all of my credit card debt. It is going to be difficult, but I have already started cutting back on my spending by couponing, not eating out, cutting the cable, and thrift shopping. I am making it a priority to be mindful of my spending habits. I have been packing lunch every day for work, and I have been meal planning. It works, although the temptation to grab food while at work is still there, I am going to strengthen my will power. It is a muscle I plan on making stronger than ever.

Lastly, the most important goal I would like to focus on in 2020 is spending time with my kids. They have not had the best of me during the last four years of my life due to my dedication to school. I was often tired and frustrated, and I had little energy for them. I wanted to get my degree and show my children that they can do anything they want in life if they are willing to work hard for it.  Thank God that I accomplished that goal because now I can focus my energies on them, and they will be rewarded. I plan to live my best life and  be the best mother I can be by giving them amazing memories and experiences, as well as my time and undivided attention. I cannot wait to share these experiences with you guys.

All in all, 2019 had its ups and downs just like any other year, but the ending of 2019 was probably one of my best years. I achieved one of my most important goals, which was achieving my Bachelor’s Degree. I got a job offer from my internship site with an amazing organization, and my career is really taking off right now. I just feel as though the blessings are pouring in, and I cannot wait to see what 2020 has in store for me. I will be a better mother, friend, sister, and human being as I aspire to be more and do more in every aspect of my life. In 2020, I will also make it a point to count my blessings and be grateful for everything that has occurred in my life until this point, even the ugliness and battles that have got me to this point. It made me who I am, and it has shaped me into one badass woman with hell of a lot more faith than fear.

How is your new year starting?

What are your goals for 2020?

How do you plan to achieve them?